Ready to Resign the Carpool Line!

School has been back in session for 6 weeks and I have been able to make some observations of the Car Pool Line (CPL). My daughter’s school is roughly 2 miles from our house so she (and me) get to sleep in later and take our time in the morning if she is a car rider. She (me) loves this luxury so much that I also pick her up in the afternoon.

There are several types of people that sit in the CPL during the afternoon. I put in some heavy duty volunteer hours at the school so I have been able to witness the myriad of parents that make up our CPL. Here are a few of them…

There is the mom that gets there one hour before school gets out every day so that she is the first in line. One hour! What is up with that? She must be such a Super Mom that she has finished all of her housework, errands and myriad of other things that need to be done and has the luxury of waiting for an hour. If you want an hour of peace and quiet then do it at home on your couch! Why would you want to sit in your car outside of the school?


There is the Crazy Mom that parks her car directly outside the front doors of the school. She gets there early enough so that she can secure her spot and she will not, under any circumstance, move up so that more cars can fit in behind her. There is a history with this mom, she is certifiable. (mental note for future blog material) She gets out of the car when the kids start filing out even though there are signs clearly asking you to “Please Remain in Your Car”. Remain in your car woman! She has a routine. She has to clap her hands (like a seal) while her kids are walking towards her, she spends a minute with them on the sidewalk and then she puts them in the car. Maybe the hand clapping is some weird behavior recognition system she has put into place. “Run towards Mommy children, pay attention to the clapping.” Just certifiable.

There is the “I don’t care that I am parked sideways on this curb” mom. She can not pull alongside the curb to save her life. It is almost as if she pulls directly towards the curb and then cuts the wheel sharply to the left. I have seen her do this several times. Her car is always sticking out far enough that cars are not able to easily pass her if there is a car coming in the opposite direction. I don’t get it. I curse at her under my breath. She completely ignores the cars trying to snake their way around her and always has her nose in a book. Hence, proof that just because you read a lot does not make you smarter.

There are a few moms who buck the CPL all together and park their car someplace else. They walk over to the school, pick their little ones out of line and walk back to their car. I have decided they are not willing to wait for the buses to pull out and prefer the “Get In and Get Out” method of pickup.

The smart parents pull into the school after the buses have left and the CPL is flowing smoothly out of the lot. They pull in, pick up their kids and leave. Very efficient.

My favorite are the dads who come screeching into the school towards the end of car pool, windows down and waving their child’s pick-up paper out the window. “I’m here! I need to pick up Johnny! I made it!” Poor Johnny is one of the last kids sitting on the bench waiting to be picked up. The teachers that help with CPL are giving this dad looks of, “seriously dude?” but he does not care, he made it!

I have also witnessed some odd behavior from some of the parents. Sometimes, one mom gets her little dog out of the car and lets it go to the bathroom in the grass. She does not pick up after her dog…an entirely new blog on another day. Another dad pours his soda out onto the pavement while he is waiting in line. That shiz is sticky dude! There is a mom who rolls her windows down and talks loudly on her phone. Does she not realize we can all hear her? I almost feel like Harriet the Spy, slyly observing everyone and taking mental notes to rehash later with my friend. If I’m lucky, we pull into the CPL around the same time and get 5 minutes of a Rehash Session before the kids come out.

But don’t worry, I’m the mom blaring 80’s music with my windows up waiting for my girl to come out so we can get the bleep out of there and head home. I’m slowly convincing her to ride the bus…

What do you do to pass the time if you are sitting in the CPL?

This Mom

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