The Inappropriate Police

“Mom! Her skirt is WAY too short! You can almost see her rear end!” This was loudly proclaimed by my 9 year old daughter in reference to a 20 something girl who was also waiting for a table at the restaurant. She was standing right next to us. I quickly grabbed my daughter’s hand, started laughing and said, “what are you talking about?” as I bee-lined it for the opposite wall. This is why I have dubbed my daughter The Inappropriate Police.

Woop-woop, that’s the sound of da police…

police lights

My go to line when there are clothes she can’t wear, shows she can’t watch or music she can’t listen to is, “It’s not appropriate.” She learned this word at a young age and now relishes in pointing out every other thing that is inappropriate. I have told her numerous times that it is not polite to point out these things but to think them quietly in her head. Unfortunately, she inherited the inability to keep things to herself from me.

She doesn’t stop at clothing. She also likes to point out smokers. “Mom! They should not be smoking and that mom is killing her children.” This was a gem. No way to recover from this one. I quietly accepted the dirty look and told her once we were safely inside the car that although not healthy some adults will still smoke. The inner me was high-fiving her and hoping something registered with the young mom who was blowing smoke into her baby’s face. Shaming from a child can be quite effective.

She has also been known to inform me (and the offender) if someone has too much makeup on, if their boobs are showing or if adults are not holding their kid’s hands in a parking lot. You see, if it is against what she has been taught, it is inappropriate.

So if you want brutal honesty about anything going on in your life, just call me up. I’ll send my daughter over and you’ll be feeling horrible about yourself in no time at all. Compliments of The Inappropriate Police.

Please tell me my kid is not the only one on the force, right?

This Mom

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