Don’t Be a Disney Dope!

We just spent a week in Disney World and I have made some pet peeve observations. I have assembled a list of helpful tips so that you don’t become a Disney Dope. I think some people just make it harder on themselves and other people by not following some simple directions.  I am a Disney Expert – don’t question it – just bask in my knowledge and you will be on your way to one Magical Day!

I will start off by telling you that my family is a bunch of Disney Fanatics. I know way too much about the parks and we love every minute of being there. This is not true for everyone. Several of my friends don’t understand why we keep going back. I tell them that you either get it or you don’t. They don’t.

If you don’t understand what rope drop, FP, BTMRR, EMH, AP, DTD, MNSSHP or ToT mean….you may not get it either. That’s ok! This is the language I speak with a select few of my friends and family because they do get it.

Dopey 101

Here is a list of my major Disney Pet Peeves:

1. Do NOT under any circumstance approach the Fast Past entrance of a line without having your Fast Passes out and ready to show! Keep it moving people! Keep it moving!

2. If it says “No Stroller Parking” then that is exactly what it means. They really can’t say it any clearer. Yes, your stroller will be moved when you come back to look for it. Please don’t take it out on the Cast Member who is in charge of keeping the strollers organized.

3. Do NOT step off the bus at the park and immediately stop to open up your stroller. Did you not just hear the friendly recording say to step away from the bus and open your stroller? You are blocking the way!

4. If you are entering a row in a theater and the Cast Member says to keep moving and not stop in the middle of the row… wait for it…wait for it…you guessed it! Keep Moving and Don’t Stop in the Middle of the Row! You gotta time your entry…hang back and then enter after some people have gone ahead of you.  Think it through people!

5. Don’t hop the chains in a line to get ahead of people who are following directions and walking through the line. It just makes you look like an ass. Did you really buy that much more time by getting ahead of 1 family? No, you didn’t. Relax! They are not handing out money – it’s a ride!

6. If there is a clear line for families waiting to meet a character and take a picture, don’t shove your child in front of the character and pretend like you didn’t know. Lines work the same all over the world…you know what you just did. You know.

7. Don’t leave your trash on a table in a counter service restaurant when you are done. Disney has garbage cans every 15 feet! You are not leaving a tip so please throw that shiz away yourself.

8. Don’t purposefully block children from seeing a show or parade. I realize that you paid just as much money (or more) to see these things but you are taller. You can see over the child. Make the child’s day by letting them in front of you. Karma will reward you!

9. Don’t smoke outside of the designated smoking areas. If my child gets burned on your cigarette, you will experience your worst nightmare to the tenth power…and then some.

10. Finally, if being at the Happiest Place on Earth still leaves you with a Grumpy attitude…get some alcohol and drink until you are Happy. They now sell spirits in all 4 Disney parks – so drink up and enjoy!

These are just the major points.  What did I miss?  I would love to add them to my list.

Have a Magical Day!

This Mom


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My Life Is In Piles…

Today I realized something. My life consists of piles. Everywhere I look, there are piles of something that need to be dealt with. I am scared of some of the piles so they keep growing and will eventually consume all traces of air around me and will slowly close me in.

There are the typical piles that are probably seen in every home. The piles of laundry that need to be cleaned. The piles of clean laundry that need to be put away. I have piles of magazines that I swear I will read. (I’m an idiot, who am I kidding?) I will eventually have so many new magazines that have arrived in the mail that I will nonchalantly throw some of the cartoon-about-houseworkolder ones in the recycle bin and feel a little bit better about that pile. There are piles of books that my 9 year old swears she is reading and they are all her favorite. I don’t have the heart to get rid of books so those piles never go away.

There are piles of bills that need to be sorted, paid and filed away. There are piles of schoolwork that has already returned with their grades in blazing red pen and a few projects that I just can’t throw in the garbage. In my mind, I see myself going over this schoolwork with my daughter because I’m the super best mom ever! There’s just too much of it already and I figure she has enough homework so why punish her?

There are already piles of forms from the school selling this or that, PTA forms and papers from the teacher that need to be filled out, checks written and sent back in. This is pretty much the only thing I write checks for. It’s unbelievable, every dang entry is to the school or the PTA. I should just give them direct access to my account.

There are piles of toys that get dragged out of their hiding places and never quite put away. They are just shoved to the side, quietly discarded until I put my foot down and make her put them away or do it myself. (Side note: Doing it yourself is a great time to throw some of that crap away! Victory!)

The most dreaded piles are when we get a wild hair and decide to clean out a closet and things we aren’t quite sure what to do with get piled up in a spare bedroom. Closing the door to this room may make you forget about those piles for a while but I assure you they are always there waiting for you.

Then there are the piles that no one but you can see. These are the mental piles. The running list in your head of errands that need to be ran or items that need to be picked up. Your friends are even stacked up in piles. They get shifted in their pile according to who needs you right then and who you may have neglected for a while. Let’s face it, sometimes it’s easy to weed through that pile and discard the contaminators. Unless they are your neighbors and the only option you have left is: open garage door, pull in, shut garage door and never go outside again.

My feelings are even in piles. I have piles of guilt for not being able to keep the perfect house or make the perfect chocolate chip cookie. I’m running under the “A house is supposed to look lived in!” theory and depending on the neighborhood bakery to make me look like a rock star.

I have piles of sadness that has come from losing my sister to cancer and not wanting to deal with it. That pile will never go away. There are piles of frustration because I just can’t understand why some people are morons and why can’t they just be witty and laugh at themselves. Stop taking everything so seriously people!

The biggest pile I have (here’s where it gets sappy) is the pile of love I have for my daughter and husband. It is the biggest pile and the biggest reason why many of those other piles really are not a big deal. They will get dealt with, but I hope this pile of love and memories gets bigger and bigger and consumes all traces of air around me and slowly closes me in.

What is the biggest pile you have in your life today?

This Mom

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